I Know What You Did With The Bunny
by Aydin
Summary: Anya accidentally kills a bunny, and now a mysterious rabbit-like presence has come to haunt her. Hm, a Vengeance-Bunny perhaps? Anya's POV.


**title:** I Know What You Did With The Bunny  
**author:** Aydin S.K.  
**rated:** PG-13  
**summary:** Anya accidentally kills a bunny, and now a mysterious rabbit-like presence has come to haunt her. Hm, a Vengeance-Bunny perhaps? Anya's POV.  
**discaimer:** All belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and so on. Except for this fiction *grin*. Please don't use it without asking me first.  
**author's note:** This fic is set in season 6, though nothing is based on an actual occurrence in the show. This piece is my first Anya-centric fic, I tried as hard as I could to 'impersonate' her bluntness, overall I think it turned out good, except for the parts that didn't *g*.  
  
I Know What You Did With The Bunny  
  
First I just want to say that I didn't do it on purpose, really! So don't jump to conclusions! I mean, surely it wasn't my fault that a bunny hopped in front of the car when I drove it off the driveway, was it? It was *so not* my fault!  
  
Well, anyway. After I realized I had hit something, I stepped out of the car and walked to the front and I bent over to take a closer look. Well, let me tell you something, if there's anything I hate more than bunnies, then it would be a dead bunny's entrails glued on the iron rim of the wheel.  
  
"Ok, EW!" I shouted at the sight of this bloody display and angrily kicked the wheel.  
  
I sighed, "Great, now I have blood on my fine, and expensive, shoes."  
  
Bunny blood, could there be anything worse? My shoes were ruined, not to mention the blood-stained car, Xander wasn't going to be happy about this. Obviously I had to take care of this, I couldn't possibly leave any traces that would lead people to me, now could I?  
So, after I had burned my shoes, I put on 4 layers of plastic gloves on each hand and picked up the horrifiying bunny, and threw it in a plastic bag.  
Then I scrubbed off the remaining pieces of entrails on the vehicle, extremely disgusting by the way, and lastly I hosed off the blood-stains.  
  
After everything was cleaned up, it was a little after sunset now, I threw on a different outfit, classy and elegant. So not the look of a brutal bunny-killer, thank God. Now I had to get rid of the dead bunny.  
As I grabbed the bag I figured it would be best to wrap it in something less transparent. It wouldn't be flattering, let alone elegant, to wander the streets carrying a see-through bag wherein a mutilated, dead bunny was wallowing in it's own blood.  
So I grabbed a shoe-box, and tucked the bag, that contained the bunny, in it. Once again, I stepped into the car, placed the box on the seat next to mine and started the engine.  
With my hands on the steering wheel, I glared at the carton box while I tried to think of a good place to dispose of this carrot-eating thing.  
  
"Maybe I should give you a proper burial. For dignity's sake, with that I mean mine, not yours. Because you ran into the car, so you already lost yours, but there's still my own dignity that I have to maintain."  
  
What was I talking about 'dignity'? I was negotiating with a dead bunny for crying out loud! Well, excellence asside, I decided to bury the bastard, I finally drove to the graveyard.  
As I wandered the cemetery, I realized that I had forgotten to bring a shovel. Perfect bunny-murder my ass. With the box under my arm I headed over to Spike.   
  
* * *  
  
I opened the door to his crypt, I suppose I could've knocked, but I was on a schedule and certainly didn't have time for decency. I stepped inside, and as I closed the door behind me, I watched how Spike took a swig of his precious pig's blood, and surprised he looked up at my presence.  
  
"Well, looky 'ere, it's demon-girl," was how he greeted me. That was just downright insulting.  
  
I sighed expasperated, "Yeah, whatever, hi. Do you have a shovel?"  
  
"Shovel? What in the bleeding hell do you need a shovel for?"  
  
"I have to bury, something. Give me a shovel."  
  
"You didn't kill Xander, did you?" Spike asked me, suspisciously.  
  
This was even more instulting and completely uncalled for, I answered with "No."  
  
"What's it that you're buryin' then? A bodypart of his?" he glared at the shoebox under my arm briefly. "Somethin' that erm, would easily fit in there?"  
  
"No, ew!" I said as I grabbed the box and held it with both hands in front of me. "Shoes. I'm going to bury shoes. Now do you have a shovel or not!"  
  
With a sigh Spike disappeared to the lower level and returned with a shovel. I snatched the digging utility out of his hand, turned around and walked out to find a place to dig. That didn't take too long, and frankly, I didn't really care that much about it anyway. I mean, it's not like the bunny will know what it's grave will look like, nor would it care, I suspect.  
  
"This spot would be perfect, wouldn't it?" I spoke to the bunny in the box.  
  
"Perfect for what?"  
  
I looked up to see who said that, although I could tell by the accent. The bastard had followed me.  
  
"Spike. Go away," I ordered him.  
  
"Why? Never witnessed a shoe-burial before, sounds like fun. Well, no actually it doesn't, but wouldn't want to miss it, even if it's just to spite you."  
  
"Go away. I want to be alone with, my shoes."  
  
"Suit yourself. Though I have to tell you, I seriously doubt that it's shoes you're plannin' on puttin' 6 feet under."  
  
Finally, he had turned around and left me alone. God, how annoying was that! Anyway, I placed the box on the nearest tombstone, and started to dig a hole.  
It wasn't really a flattering spot to spend an eternity rotting away, I certainly wouldn't want to be buried like that. It was just a bunny, why should I have cared, right? So I dropped the box in the hole, and covered it up with sand and a pile of grass.  
When I looked down at the tiny grave, it seemed so sad all of a sudden. Well, that was a load of crap.  
  
"A carrot would've been nice though," I remember muttering to myself, before I turned around. Not for me of course, but for the bunny, to decorate it's grave. Humans do that, right? Leave roses for the deceased? I decided I could always come back later and left. Well, not that I had any intentions of coming back to pay my respects in the first place.   
  
* * *  
  
I returned to the car, and drove to the Magic Box. On my way to the shop, the strangest thing happened. A blood-covered bunny got smacked against the window, the same bunny I had buried. Completely, and understandably, shocked as I was, I hit the breaks, and I stepped out of the car, but the bunny was gone, and so were the blood splatters on the window. Like it didn't happen at all !  
Well, this wasn't just strange, it was horrifying!  
  
As quickly as I could I got back in the car, and took off with screeching tires, and didn't stop driving until I arrived at the magic shop, I'm the boss there and I own the money, well, Giles does too, but that's not important right now.  
I rushed inside, and tried to pretend I was very calm when I saw Xander, Buffy, Willow and Tara sitting at the table. And Spike. Great. How much more humiliating could things possibly get?  
  
"So, your *shoes* got a proper burial then?"  
  
Well, that much.  
  
"Oh, shut up," I hissed at Spike, who of course just laughed at me. Stupid vampire. He's sexy, but such an ass.  
  
Exhausted I sat down at the table, opened my purse and reached in to get the keys to the cash-register. 'Cause money is soothing, and I was seriously stressed, soothing-needy.  
When I pulled my hand out of the purse, I could've sworn I had the keys in my hand, but I screamed my fragile lungs out at what I saw!  
I was looking at a disgusting bunny ear! God, I hate those! It was all covered in blood, and in my hand. A bunny ear, in my hand, with bunny blood! Somebody just cut off a bunny's ear, and stuffed it in my purse! My expensive purse! Can you believe that? I loved that purse!  
  
"Oh my God! *Anya*! You always carry that with you?!"  
  
Xander was inappropiately shocked. It was in *my* hand, he had no right! He acted as if it was all my fault!  
  
Disgusted I threw the repulsive ear away, it landed in Spike's lap who sat on the counter and immediately stopped grinning.  
  
"Oh bloody hell," was all he said though, thank God, I couldn't stand to hear another accusing word coming out of his mouth!  
  
Well, anyway. It was obvious someone knew that I had taken the life of a bunny, and was being a total pest. I was being haunted! Or someone was pulling a prank. Either way, I didn't appreciate it! I still don't!  
  
"Alright! Who stuffed the bunny ear in my purse?!"  
  
Suspiciously I looked at everybody in turn, which was completely pointless, considering that they're all perfectly capable of hiding their true feelings. Or they had nothing to do with it at all.  
Maybe, maybe the bunny had crawled out of it's grave right after I left, and threw itself against my windshield, cut of it's ear when I got out the car and shoved it in my purse. Bunnies are crafty like that, and makes it perfectly understandable that they frighten me!  
  
"The bunny did this!" I shouted, I just had no control over it, it just came out of my mouth. Happens a lot, so I've been told.  
  
"The bunny did what now?"  
  
"Xander, I hit a bunny."  
  
"Hit a bunny?"  
  
"Yes, with the car."  
  
Spike jumped off the counter, "I knew you weren't buryin' shoes! What moron does that anyway!"  
  
I ignored the offensive remarks of the vampire and asked Buffy what she thought about all this. She furrowed her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair with folded arms.  
  
Prepared for Slayer-wisdom, instead I heard her say, "Hm..I dunno. Angry descendant perhaps?"  
  
"What, that's all you're gonna say?"  
  
I did not like the tone of her voice, she was mocking me, she didn't take me seriously! The Slayer for crying out loud!  
  
"Fine. I'll figure it out myself!"  
  
Before I snatched my purse off the table I pretended I was looking for something, hoping that someone, anyone, would come forward to lend me a helping hand.  
  
"Oo! Oo! Maybe I could do a..a spell?"  
  
I looked at the smiling red head, and for a moment I considered it, but I was simply too enraged to listen to all this crap.  
  
"Oh, cram your spells up your..-"  
  
"*Anya*!" Xander defended Willow, also interrupting me. That was it, I just had it.  
  
"Shut up, Xander! You're always taking their side, but when is it my turn!? I'm haunted by a frikkin' bunny, and you don't even pretend to take me seriously!"  
  
Usually humans leave the room after such an outrage, well, so did I ! When I arrived at the car I realized I didn't have the car keys on me, they were still in my purse. Which I obviously had forgotten.  
But when I had gotten back inside the shop, dear god, what I saw was just outrageous, unacceptable!  
I was looking at a bunny costume-clad gang.  
  
"Is this supposed to be funny? Because I don't think this is funny!"  
  
Appalled Spike looked at me, as if he felt the same about it.  
  
"What, you think *I'm* havin' the time of my life lookin' like a sodding rabbit?!"  
  
"Spike's right, I'm not exactly having a party either," Buffy seemed genuinely embarassed, everybody did actually.  
  
"Then why are you all dressed in that?"  
  
They all shrugged at my perfectly logical question.  
  
"Well, could you please take it off, this is very traumatizing."  
  
"I'll say." I heard Xander murmur.  
  
"Wait, can't take the bloody thing off." Spike concluded as he peeped inside his costume, "I'm naked under 'ere."  
  
The rest had checked if they were wearing anything underneath the horrifying costumes too. Much to my disappointment, and probably theirs too, they all shook their head.  
  
Then, suddenly out of no where..  
  
"VENGEANCE I SHALL HAVE!"  
  
With a start I jumped up, "Oh my God, what was that?"   
  
* * *  
  
"The wrongful death of a bunny...shall be paid for.."  
  
Although it was only a whisper, I didn't think it was any less terrifying than the loud roaring. Shocked I flew into Xander's arms, but upon realizing he was dressed as a bunny I immediately broke free from his embrace.  
  
"AAH! Don't touch me!"  
  
"Anya..it's me, Xander."  
  
"Yes, in a frikkin' bunny suit!!"  
  
"Anyaaaaa..."  
  
As irritated as I was, I turned around and decided to provoke the whispering bastard.  
  
"Yes..WHAT?! Come out you, coward!"  
  
"Vengeance is mine.."  
  
"And once it was mine, boo-hoo! Who cares! Now get your ass out here!"  
  
From behind the counter a little white bunny came walking towards us, well, actually towards *me*, threateningly he pointed his carrot at me, as if he was planning on stabbing me with it.  
Then Spike scoffed, of course, how could he not. Hear me sigh.  
  
"What, this poncy thing sends shivers down your spine?"  
  
"Yes. Yes, it does. Is that so weird? Look at it!"  
  
"I know what you did with the bunny, Anya.." it spoke to me, again. You know what that's like, a talking bunny? It's scary, that's what it is!  
  
"Alright! I'm sorry! It was an accident!"  
  
"Oh, I know it was," the bunny announced cheerfully, and then it shrugged. "You buried it, I dig that! Doesn't happen everyday that someone runs over a rabbit and finds it in their heart to bury it."  
  
This was weird. The bunny was being, nice.  
  
"Then why scare us all like that!?" I scolded.  
  
"*Us all*? You're the one that went bonkers!"  
  
"Spike, shut up," Xander berated in my defence. Isn't he the greatest?  
  
Anyway, the bunny hopped on the table, beckoning for our attention and started talking again.  
  
"I came to thank you," it then said.  
  
"Thank me?! You stuffed a bunny ear in my purse! How does *that* say 'thank you'?!"  
  
"It doesn't, I was just playing with ya. Bunnies gotta have fun too, you know."  
  
Xander chuckled, and so did Buffy, even Willow and Tara thought it was funny.  
  
"Hahahaha!" and Spike seemed to think it was hilarious.  
  
Well, it didn't matter anymore. The bunny had been making fun of me the entire time, so why not everybody else too!  
Besides the fact of taking pleasure in scaring the crap out of me, the bunny wasn't that bad. Mr. Bunny staid over for the rest of the night, we took it to the Bronze. Well, that was Spike's idea.  
But just because it didn't kill any of us, doesn't mean I like bunnies. And just because it gave us a round of beer, doesn't mean I like bunnies.  
I don't like bunnies. They frighten me.  
  
**The End**


End file.
